I light up the cigarette I’ve nipped between my lips. I squint my eyes as I gaze at the afternoon sunset, blowing the white smokes out of my lungs. I let the car’s engine hum behind me, just so I can have a makeshift friend. I lick my dry lower lip.

My eyes want to shut down, but I won’t be able to drive back home if I do that. Home. Such a lovely word for a chaffed house with wrecked morals. Just by the shade of the sun, my parents are surely hitting their sixth pack of the white powder. I’ve just finished my third, so I will sneak another one from them later.

My phone rings, but I decline the slut’s call. Six months earlier, I found out I’d be a father to this slut I was sleeping with. Of course, I’ll ask for a DNA exam after the baby is born, but the news somehow made me mellow. And weak. And excited, I think.

I snatch out my phone and click a photo from my files. Her tousled hair bents along with her head. She grins with her sated lips and sedated eyes—I did that to her. She could have been here beside me, but she flew once she heard the pregnancy news. But I broke down when I heard she married her fixed fiancé.

I kiss my phone’s screen like a maniac without relief. I think of her and my nerves relax a little. I drop it beside me. Maybe this time, she will call.


Thank you for reading this story. If you want to talk about random things with me, do not hesitate to reach me through my “Contact” page. All the best love, my dear.


let me hold your words before you leave;

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